I had an epiphany today.

Four moms, myself included, were hanging out while our kids were playing tennis, and one woman brought up a local photographer who creates “daring” photos of women.

I saw how the eyes of one of them lit up with interest and excitement. It was the same woman who had told me she wanted to do a sexy sunrise photoshoot.

This also brought to memory of a woman I photographed a couple of years ago, a mother of three. A gentle, agreeable, nurturing goddess who told me she was looking for edgy photos. She didn’t want sweet and pretty pictures of her smiling in the field of daisies. She wanted photos of her staring daringly into the camera, as she wore rugged boots and a leather jacket at the backdrop of rough cement and dilapidated building.

How could I not see it back then?

And what a gift that I can see it now.

Curiously enough, I just learned about the dark feminine a couple of weeks ago. A lady commented on my work on Instagram and asked me if I had done much work with dark feminine.

“What is dark feminine?” I asked and immediately started my research.

As I scroll down my Instagram feed, I see women who look gentle, soft, kind, nurturing, sweet, agreeable, reaching their arms out toward the sky and sunlight and embracing the whole world with the sweetness of their souls. That’s LIGHT FEMININE. That’s what women are EXPECTED to be: nurturing, motherly, compassionate, kind. That’s what we are used to seeing women as, that’s our “typical” role: giving, forgiving, caring, generous and gentle.

The DARK FEMININE represents the aspects of the feminine psyche that have been suppressed and repressed in our society. It is the part of us that is WILD, UNTAMED, and UNAPOLOGETIC. It is the part of us that is ANGRY, FIERCE, SEDUCTIVE, and POWERFUL.

As women we are often taught to be good girls, to suppress our anger, to cross our legs, to be agreeable and accommodating. We are expected to be polite, gentle and submissive. We are told that anger is unbecoming and that we should always put others’ needs before our own.

It is the “smile, you look prettier when you smile” comment you hear from older people sometimes. And the response the dark feminine would give is “F*&#k you, I am not here for your entertainment.”

Curiously enough, I have been feeling angry lately.

And I have been wanting to create self-portraits wearing a black see-through dress, something more on the edgy and seductive side, but not for the purpose of “entertaining my husband” as I like to say, but FOR ME. I have banned black clothes from my wardrobe entirely in the last ten or so years (I used to own ONLY black clothes when I was in high school), but lately I am feeling drawn to it again. I also started speaking my truth more and have been openly cursing and expressing my anger to and toward my husband (the poor guy gets the brunt of it, but we will get through this eventually).

I feel freer.

It feels good to be angry. Or to be more accurate, it feels good to let the anger out.

My friend Jess pulled a card for me recently. Guess what was on the card? It was a huge dragon spitting flames of fire! That image resonated so deeply with me.

It feels good to release those flames of fury from inside of you. When I hold it inside and try to be “a good girl”, it is suffocating me.

And that’s why other women are craving edgy photos of themselves.

That dark feminine side of them is seeking to be expressed. It wants out, it is sick and tired of being bottled up inside.

It wants to get the fuck out because it is time.

It is probably sick and tired of cooking, cleaning, buying groceries, doing laundry and folding laundry, and taking care of all the kids’ school and extracurricular stuff, and of making sure that everything is running smoothly. I think that shit would suffocate even the strongest of men if they dared to do all we do. That’s me speaking for myself, I am not sure what drives other women… I do know that a lot of my anger stems from the fact that I have to do all the “woman” stuff in my household…

Embracing the dark feminine means embracing our anger, our darkness, and our power. It means acknowledging and accepting all aspects of ourselves, even the parts we have been taught to suppress.

When we embrace the wild, angry, bleeding, and sexual side of ourselves, we step into our power. We also start trusting our intuition and following our creativity, we trust our inner wisdom to guide us in our lives. We are no longer afraid to try new things, leave partners who don’t value us, and speak our truth openly.

Learning about the dark feminine also made me re-evaluate my work.

I started looking for examples of it in my work and was able to find only a handful of photographs where I invited women to channel their dark feminine side. Now that I openly became a cursing sailor (honestly, I have always been one, but I have been suppressing it, because, well, I’m a “good girl”) I MUST explore the dark feminine more. There is a chance I will throw myself entirely into the other side of the divine feminine spectrum…. But I also trust that after that experimentation I will find what is TRULY ME artistically and as a woman.

As I started examining the traits of the dark feminine, I realized that IT HAS BEEN present in my art! The goal of my photography is to make women feel POWERFUL, and my invitation for the women is to transform into the woman who follows her desires and dreams. And I ALWAYS invite women to scream and be wild during a portion of their photoshoot.

My photoshoots also almost always take place in NATURE, thus inviting women to connect to Mother Earth, the dark feminine herself.

I have been intuitively offering this safe space to women and now I understand that this is the part you call the dark feminine.

And now it is more clear than ever how together the LIGHT FEMININNE and the DARK FEMININE make up the DIVINE FEMININE.

I promised myself not to talk badly about my art. My sweet goddesses in photos reaching toward the light ARE a reflection of the kindness and compassion with which I see the world. The path that has led me to where I am today - I am thankful for it. And since I have come to learn about the dark feminine now, I will explore it. I am excited to play with this energy and I am inviting women to join me.

How to tap into the dark feminine energy.

As I prepare explore the DARK FEMININE creative and personally, here is the action plan that came to mind:

(the masculine energy in me is great and it always likes to have a plan, that’s just who I am :) But I also will remain open to being flexible and gentle with myself throughout the process (thank you, feminine, energy :)))

Read and research more about dark goddesses, books about witches, listen to podcasts and learn as much as possible about this topic. (I’m a very academic and by the book type of girl, in case it wasn’t clear :))

Become even more aware of my anger and emotions in general. I have found journaling as a great way for that.

Learn about dark feminine rituals and practices that can help me heal what needs to be healed. I imagine some shadow work is in the cards for me for sure! To connect to my emotions (and to myself) on a deeper level, I will attend some tantra workshops and classes.

Get more in tune with my menstrual cycle. Honestly, I must say that I am proud of myself for honoring it lately. There was a day when my girlfriend with whom we like to create content (I do not like that word, so you know), went out intending to film something, I knew I was on my period so I should have been in my pajamas on the couch in the first place, but I got all dressed up and I went out. I did feel however, that the creative energy was no there and I ended up not filming anything. I honored my body and how I felt. It felt awkward at first, and I kept explaining it to my friend Sasha, and apologizing (to myself included), but at the end it felt so good.

There are a lot of resources about the menstrual cycle and understanding it and getting in sync with it is part of the tapping into the dark feminine magic within our own bodes.

Explore the dark feminine creatively by allowing the women to REALLY EMBRACE it during a DARK GODDESS PHOTOSHOOT. I see it as a safe space for women to let out their flames of fury, their rage. It is also a place where they can connect to the powerful seductress within, connect to their desire and sexuality. It is a place where they can channel their mystic, their slut, their raging tigress.

For props and outfits I’m envisioning: black, red or daring dark color outfits, fierce and non-smiling facial expressions (or evil smiles!), powerful and bold, victorious poses, as well as something curled up and almost repulsive in the traditional sense, mystic looking candelabras, candles and witch’s tools, swords, ravens, skulls, blood, the moon. I see these images NOT as perfectly in focus images, but rather as something that communicates FEELING. I see slow shutter speed that results in trailing light and crazy out of focus feeling depicting CHAOS, a WHIRLWIND of uncontrollable energy, a place from which CREATIVITY COMES. I envision women who look almost IMPISH, causing you to want to skip these photos but at the same time you know you want to look again. These are the visions I’m having and I can’t wait to birth them into life through a creative process with someone.

As I was picking out images for this article, I realized that MANY women don’t have access to that dark feminine side of us. And as I type these words, I first wrote “some women” because I didn’t want to offend anyone, ruffle feathers and cause waves by my statement. And that’s exactly WHAT HAS BEEN SURPRESSED IN ME! So fuck it, YES, I am saying what I see as true, and though it may not be true for you, many women do not have access to their dark feminine side. That’s why we are out of touch with our sexuality and the magic within us.

So let’s ruffle feathers, let’s cause waves, and let’s become the fullest expression of what we are to be in this lifetime.

I am convinced that it is no coincidence that the dark feminine flung the door open into my life and commanded I acknowledge it. It has been present in my life all this time but in more subtle, almost invisible ways and now it is demanding the center stage.

And the fact that you came across this article is no coincidence either. I invite you to explore your dark feminine side, whether it is through reading books and journaling, or doing shadow work and working with a tantra practitioner, or doing a creative play photoshoot. By connecting to our dark feminine we are untangling generations-worth of suppressed emotions, sexuality and power so we are doing it not only for ourselves, but for our daughters and generations to come.

Please feel free to share in the comments the resources that help you. Thank you for reading and happy exploring of the dark feminine together!

the dark feminine

“What is dark feminine?” I asked and immediately started my research.

And that’s why other women are craving edgy photos of themselves.

Embracing the dark feminine means embracing our anger, our darkness, and our power. It means acknowledging and accepting all aspects of ourselves, even the parts we have been taught to suppress.

LIGHT FEMININE TRAITS

DARK FEMININE TRAITS

How to tap into the dark feminine energy.

So let’s ruffle feathers, let’s cause waves, and let’s become the fullest expression of what we are to be in this lifetime.

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