5 superhero confidence hacks that work
When I was eight years old, I taught a friend how to ride a bicycle because I was convinced that I knew how to do it.
And it was only during the following summer at my grandma's house, surrounded by my cousins, when I attempted to ride a two-wheeler and kept falling over, did I discover that I did not know how to ride it ...
Confidence (or over-inflated confidence in my childhood case) is what scientists claim is an ESSENTIAL ingredient for success:
“Scholars are coming to see (confidence) as an essential element of internal well-being and happiness, a necessity for a fulfilled life. Without it you can’t achieve flow, the almost euphoric state described by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi as perfect concentration; the alignment of one’s skills with the task at hand.”
Do you remember a time when you were really confident? You probably felt like a million bucks, looked the part, and was convinced that you could handle anything coming your way. It is a great feeling, isn't it?
If we start on skin-level, these confidence and beauty quotes come to mind:
The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.
Beauty begins the most you decide to be yourself. (self-acceptance)
Beauty is really all about confidence. If you feel beautiful, then you are beautiful. (WOW!)
To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don't need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.
True beauty is the flame of self-confidence that shines from the inside out.
Too much confidence, and we are looking at arrogance, but coupled with just the right amount of humility, it becomes the magic formula for success in life.
Too much humility and we find ourselves in a self-deprecation pit. What is humility?
“Genuine humility is a reflection of neither weakness nor insecurity. Instead, it implies a respectful appreciation of the strengths of others, a lack of personal pretension and a more relaxed sense of confidence that doesn’t require external recognition.” * (from The Humility-Confidence SeeSaw: The Untold Secret of Great Leaders”)
So if it is not just something that is NICE TO HAVE, but it is something that is ESSENTIAL to a great life, how So if it is not just something that is NICE TO HAVE, but it is something that is ESSENTIAL to a great life, how can we get more of it?
Here are 5 confidence boosters that have worked for me.
1. Acclaim your amazingness.
“You have completely reinvented yourself” my friend Jenya says about my journey in photography that started 8 years ago. When I hear these words, I think to myself, "Wow! I am pretty amazing." In my mind though, all I did was pick up a camera and learned to take pictures. It’s like she took what happened and wrote a really beautiful line for a resume. A line full of impact, full of action, full of drama.
Imagine that you are about to write YOUR resume and you are doing a brainstorm of all your accomplishments and positive traits. Make a list of all the things that you are proud of, qualities that you like about yourself or that people usually compliment you on, and read that list to yourself often. I bet it will do more good than the berating self-talk!
Why not try rewriting simple and seemingly insignificant statements about yourself like “I’m just a guy who works at an insignificant job position” into more impressive “I use my experience and skills to provide for my family”. Do you feel the difference? Start giving yourself more credit for what you do. Instead of “I'm just an ordinary person” rewrite it into “I am an incredible one-of-a-kind person who is {insert your three admirable qualities} who can do {insert your skill here, whether it is doing payroll, quesadilla, or composting} very well.” And say it to yourself every day.
2. Receive compliments gratefully and joyously.
When someone compliments you, do you downplay your role something to the effect, "oh, it's nothing"? Instead of negating what you are being praised for, practice accepting the compliment and simply say “thank you. I appreciate that.” Then notice how it feels.
(OMG, do I sound like a therapist? I totally am not, but I just love how these small tweaks can make a HUGE impact on how we see ourselves and what we can create in life as a result of that!)
3. Dress like a superhero.
Another way that helps me personally feel like a badass is dressing up. Not necessarily dressing up in fancy clothes, but taking the time and thought to get dressed in an outfit that resonates with how I feel that day and how I perceive myself. I get dressed and if I don't feel ecstatic about how the clothes make me feel, I change into something that highlights the mood I am in. With makeup on and dressed well, I engage more openly and happily with people and I generously give out compliments to everyone I see and build relationships more easily.
It's like donning a super-hero costume to actually become a superhero.
The thing is, it takes guts to dress like a superhero, so you kinda have to be a superhero before you dare to dress like one.
But I bet you can reverse the process and start with the dressing up thing first and see how the superhero feeling will follow, if you are willing to try it out. WOULD you?
4. Have professional photos of yourself taken.
Wearing a superhero costume to become a superhero is similar to how I feel photography can help people gain self-confidence and teach self-love.
We don’t notice how cool we are until someone tells us. Or we may not see how beautiful we are until someone photographs us and shows us our portraits.
The last time I had a very successful photoshoot with my girlfriend Sasha, I felt so confident afterwards because I got to see how hot I am :) Ok, I normally don't talk like this about myself but. seriously, seeing myself from the side (not in the mirror) gave me an appreciation for how I look, for the way that I am, and I became more confident as a result of it.
Have professional portraits taken and see how the way you see yourself changes. It is possible that you will start taking care of yourself a couple of weeks before the photoshoot (if you want to get in a better shape, buy some new clothes, get your hair done, etc.) and that is fine. It is ok to have photos taken for your own personal pleasure, but I can guarantee you that you will find your new photos useful in more than one way. You can update your profile photo on Facebook and LinkedIn, use photos for a dating site, start showing up more regularly to build relationships on social media, have photos printed to remind you of your awesomeness on a daily basis. I truly believe that once you see yourselves how the world sees you, you may start loving yourself more.
5. Use empowering language.
Our language shapes so much of what we are, that it is important for us to identify words and phrases that limit us and pull them out of vocabulary like weeds from the garden.
The word "try" is not a part of my lexicon. I am not going to try and do an art experiment. I will just do it, and I might fail miserably at it, or I might learn anything, but in any case, it is a win. I also don't use the "have to" so much. I don't ever have to do editing. I simply need to do it and I do it joyfully because it is a part of my creative process. (Okay, sometimes, I HAVE TO cook, and it sucks. In that case I talk to my husband and we order out or he cooks, but I am not a victim of my circumstances. )
If you are curious on the topic of empowering language, start noticing how you talk, speak to a life coach, or google the topic and see if there are any free resources can help you. Using empowered speech is like donning that superhero costume and then watching yourself being able to soar. (tweet that :))
Whichever method you use to boost your confidence, I hope you realize your awesomeness this month and rewrite your humble story into a more empowering one. Because once empowered, you can live a full, enriching, magical life. ♥
With gratitude,
Francesca Bliss